It's only been a week.
One lousy week since my guy moved home here.
Sure has changed in the last 10 1/2 months. Will NOT put the toilet seat down.
Has been very rude and inconsiderate and SELF-FUCKING-CENTERED.
I'm scared to death I've made a wallop of a mistake.
Don't know when he changed when he was away... seemed the same sweet, loving, humorous guy I fell in love with when we talked daily on the phone... spouted off all these words that made me truly believe we had a bodacious future ahead.
One week is all it took. I DO love him... but I sure as hell don't LIKE him right now.
I'm not a violent person, but I found a deep desire to strangle him tonight. LITERALLY. That scared me!
Discovering a lot of things I thought were true or right were untrue or wrong. I just don't know WHAT to do... I've done added him to my lease, paid all the fees, and got rid of a lot of stuff to 'make room' for him. I can't stand him looking at me right now, let alone touching me. I'm so fucking disappointed, angry and hurt. He can be SUCH AN ASSHOLE!!!
Especially an asshole when fueled by alcohol. Think I should swipe his Harley helmet and paint "Instant Asshole: Just Add Alcohol" on it. *Laffs* Would piss him off, ya think? I won't do it, but the THOUGHT and VISUALIZING IT really makes my brain grin. Ohhhhh I really REALLY don't need to be playing with thoughts of revenge right now! I've done some really MESSED UP things out of revenge many years ago... and still feel ashamed of a couple of the things.... yet oddly amused by some of the other revenges. I'm soooo bad! Yet soooo good. I told him his ass better be at Truitt Brothers (Cannery) Tuesday AM no later than 5 am... they are hiring a LOT of people on the spot. He BETTER DO IT TO... with no excuses. After today's hell, I will NOT tolerate less than his 100% best efforts to do everything he claimed he wanted to do once he moved in here with me. Time to back up his words, and back them up sober. I'm sooooo pissed off.
Rant over. Tried to keep it sane.
Don't TOUCH me with that piss whistle unless ya gonna USE it and use it well!